Rambo 4: Stallone, stop acting like you wrote this.

On a whim, I went to see the new Rambo flick on opening night. Let me just say that I expected people to be blown away, but I didn't expect to be one of them. (spoiler: I was!)

Sure, Stallone's old, but that wasn't really an issue here; and I realize that Rambo couldn't have been much less human if he were portrayed by a Kodiak bear, but aside from all that it was still a great movie, and I have my doubts that a musclehead like Sly could have written it. Although he would have had to write it, because the way he talks he would have had a hell of a time trying to dictate it. (Ha!)

On the surface, it's a blood and guts action film about a
war vet who reluctantly leads some missionaries into war-torn Burma, and ends up almost single-handedly fighting an army to rescue them when they get captured. Dig a little deeper, though, and you'll find a much more thought-provoking statement about human nature and perhaps the unavoidability of war. According to Stallone, he also wanted to use the film to bring attention to the crisis in Myanmar.

This is definitely not your fun, thrill ride of an action film like its recent predecessor, Die Hard 4: Yippee Ki-Yay Motherfucker With a Vengeance, because most of this film is quite believable. Also, the battle scenes are merciless, possibly the most gruesome I've seen, and there is a certain heaviness in the overall tone of the picture. Obviously, the title character was above and beyond the realm of normal men in terms of ass-kicking ability (and muscle mass) but that's a given, and who would have it any other way? Even at sixty-one years old, Sylvester Stallone brings it. If you're at all curious about Rambo 4, it's definitely worth a look.

Shaggy, but not too shabby.

Thursday marks the second day of new late night shows since the Writers Guild strike, and things have never been fuzzier-- ...uh"funnier." Whoops.

That's right. Wednesday night brought Letterman, Leno, Conan and Craig back into our magic moving-picture cubes for the first time in two months. During the hiatus all four shows had been delving deep into the vault for reruns, especially Leno who apparently thought we'd enjoy seeing "vintage" tonight shows dating back to the early 1990's (and who doesn't get a huge kick out of fifteen-year-old current events humor?) And although it is great to have a few more laughs at the expense of John Wayne Bobbitt, it's even better to get back to laughing at Britney Spears.

While Jay Leno and Conan O'Brien returned without the aid of their writing staff, David Letterman's production company, Worldwide Pants was able to reach a special agreement with the WGA which allowed him and Ferguson to use writers even as the strike continues. To quote Dave, "I know what you're thinking--- 'this crap is written?'"

So as the boys over at NBC are desperately killing airtime with audience Q+A, or timing how long a wedding ring will spin on a desk, or interviewing Mike Huckabee, it's business as usual at CBS, sort of. Ferguson actually did an entire show of comedy bits without any guests, which is a first as far as I know (and don't expect me to bother googling that to check.) Dave surprised the nation by sporting a full white beard, which was the subject of much teasing, especially from Letterman's first guest of 2008, Robin Williams. Ironic, considering that Robin was actually turned down for a part in "Planet of the Apes" for being too goddamned hairy. True story.

But the beard brigade doesn't end with Dave; Conan was also rocking some very stylish face-foliage of his own. The orange-haired talk show host actually devoted a segment of his show to admiring his new beard, complete with a creepy theme song by the Max Weinberg 7, proving that you really can get away with anything at twelve-thirty on NBC. In my rarely humble opinion, Conan looks a little less goofy with a beard, which could be a good thing or a bad thing, depending whose sideburn you're on. ("Side." I meant "side.")

So what's with all the Chia-cheeked late night hosts? You're guess is [probably not] as good as mine. My guess is that during their extended time off they all went to see "Sweeney Todd," which left poor Dave and Conan with a terrible fear of razor blades. Either that or they're just now getting really into ZZ Top. Whatever the case may be, TV is worth watching again and everyone is much hairier--- ...uh, "happier."